DEAR AMY,

WED. 7-28-99

1210 HOURS

I AM SITTING AT YOUR DESK LISTENING TO GORDON LIGHTFOOT CD WRITING YOU A LETTER. IT IS SO HARD TO KEEP FROM BEING INTERRUPTED BY PHONE CALLS & PEOPLE. YOU KNOW ME, I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN I AM BUSY DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT & PEOPLE CALL OR COME OVER & BUG ME. I KNOW THINGS HAVE BEEN ROUGH & TOUGH ON YOU IN ALL AREAS. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?? YOU'RE TOUGHER & ROUGHER & BETTER THAN THE SITUATION YOU ARE IN. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. I KNOW YOU PRAY & KEEP A PRAYER IN YOUR HEART ALL THE TIME, SO DO WE. SEVEN MORE WEEKS & YOU'RE OUT OF BOOT CAMP. YOU HAVE A GREAT FUTURE AHEAD OF YOU WITH A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR AN EDUCATION, EXPERIENCE & GROWTH. REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU WHEN YOU LEFT? BE BRAVE. I KNOW IT'S HARD BUT HANG TOUGH. WORK HARD, PRAY HARD & STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR GOAL. WE LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU ALL THE WAY. I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU & LOVE YOU. GIVE 'EM HELL KID.

LOVE, YOUR FATHER

First, yes, my father writes in all capital letters, thus the reason for all caps.

This was the only letter I recieved from my father while I was in bootcamp. I seldom heard my dad say he was proud of me, nor did he tell me he loved me much growing up, though I always knew he did love me and that I had made him proud somehow. He was gone, at work on the train, most of my life. I knew it had to be done. I came across this tonight as I started packing up things. I keep it close by and read it now and again to remind me of how far I've come in so many aspects in my life. Much like my "special" blessing, this one rings true even today. I see this life as my mortal bootcamp. To see how I'm going to fare and prove faithful. I hope my graduation leads to celestial mansions.

Thankful List

Since I hope not to get up tomorrow during Sacrament Meeting and bear my testimony, I can share here what's been on my heart and look back on it at some point and not worry about Angels lecturing me on what I said poorly... this is on paper, err... the world wide web, and I'm okay with that.

I'm grateful for good friends, who share the same standards as myself. They love and support me and I've been blessed to have them in my life.

I love Idaho. I'd never trade the peace I feel here in this place for California, ever, again. I feel like I finally belong somewhere, that my spirit is whole and that I am going to be well here, if I can just get into my home.

The humbling lessons are sometimes hard to learn, but I'll get it down soon enough. It seems to me that I have lots of layering going on in the patience department, so long as it's cake layers and when I am done, I can eat the sweetness of my work.

I'm grateful for my children. They're busy, they're bright and I love them for their pure hearts. What love and compassion they show to all they meet. I've learned a lot being a mommy.

I'm grateful for generally good health and that I'm able to walk, go pee on a toilet and not with some catheter, etc. I mean, I have bumps along the road of life, but I'm still kicking back and that's okay.

I'm just thankful... I need to be thankful more often...

This last week has been incredibly sad for me. As we get nearer to closing on our house, maybe, I can remember my Grandma Burdick saying how she wanted to throw me a welcoming party at my new house. She said she wanted to decorate and help with the food, and she was sure our house would be just "lovely." She said this during one of her on & off days... she sometimes had dimentia that spilled into reality... but I think there's some wisdom in all this being said before she passed. I'm sure my grandma is waiting to throw me a party, a welcoming party, but when I return home to my Father... In the meantime, I hope to carry her spirit with me, and amount to something as wonderful as she was.

In a Lazy Daze & a Date

So, yesterday I started anti-anxiety medication, because with the way this house buying crap is going, I'm getting my ulcers back, not sleeping at night, and feeling just miserable all around. So now, I'm a dead body most of the day, laying no interest into doing much of anything. Down side? I'm not packing much now. Upside, I really don't give a crap about much of anything. I hope this helps with the stress I am under with all that's going on in my life. I could use a break from the insanity that's known as house buying. I'm sure after a few days my energy will be back, but for now, I'm cool with just chillin'.

Jason took me out on our first date since, I can't remember, Friday night. He coordinated the sitter (thanks Mandy), found the best place he was reccomended, and took me there. Jason was told by a man at work (36 year old friend) how fabulous this place was. You could eat on the water-deck-thing, music, food, etc. So with all the hype, and this place only being open at night, he took the day off as a vacation day, to make it extra special...

Jason, if you ever read this, I'm sorry. The place was a dive! It was called Montego Bay... and on the door it said 21 and over... Wow! Family friendly spot isn't it? It turned out to be a BAR! With a bunch of 40-50-somethings sitting around, drinking their drinks and puffing away on their cancer sticks. I felt really out of place being the only one my age there, and after a while, resorted to singing along to the horrible "hustle" 70's music that was being played. I remember the last song was ABBA's dancing queen, how appropriate... huh?

Shopping without children is a pure delight. I can't tell you how fast things get done. Jason and I had pretend conversations with our ghost children in Wal-Mart. We told them not to bite eachother, sit down, don't touch, etc. I'm sure we looked like crack-heads, but for the first time in my life, I fit in looking like one! Okay, okay, not so rough on Wal-Mart.

Needless to say, it was nice to be out with him, for once, with no kids in tow. Time like that is priceless... Thanks Mandy... I love ya

By your breads*, ye shall be known

So, today, I got the Amish Bread done. I made two batches, stored three starters in my freezer, and gave away almost all of it to my friends. Maybe that's why it's called friendship bread? I took 4 muffins over to neighbors, a bundt cake over to my friend Megan, half a dozen to my friend Mandy on a cupcake stand she keeps forgetting, and then, Faith and Aubrey ate 8 themselves. Kids!

So, I didn't get much packing done today, just lots of dishes, cleaning, stuff like that. I'm nearly caught up on my laundry... and I'm starting to think if I refuse to clean, the ants will just carry all the crap away! I have to get ants first....

I have a hell of a mess in my master bedroom, and quite frankly "I don't give a damn!" I'm just in a rut, but I'll make it out of it sooner or later. I just find it frustrating that the kids undo everything as fast as I do it... and so what's the point!?!?

*so much baking lately, I think the scripture should be breads, not fruits.... LOL

Are you serious folks?

So, if last night wasn't bad enough when I found my WHITE 275.00 Dooney and Bourke purse covered in lipstick, RED lipstick, today I get a call from some creditor who wouldn't give me his name but could tell me everything about myself. He verified my last four of my social security number, my address, and updated my last name. I had to hound him for a fax number to send him a police report to regarding what he could theoretically be trying to collect on, and that was tough.

I sent in my police report, which had my social, old address info, etc on it - along with a nasty letter. There is no blemish on my credit report and I owe nothing to any debtor.

I verified this with Capital One Visa - who supposedly I have a debt with - and they searched and searched and could find nothing with my name or social on it.

Then I called Trans Union to back up my butt with a fraud alert, but there was already one there... thankfully. While I had them on the phone, I had them triple check the credit report, nothing was there.

I did call our local police department and told them everything and they said they thought it was 100% fraud and if I lose money on it, they'll open it to a full blown report and take these suckers down. Glad we have some good cops here.

I did some google research on these badasses that are harassing me and they have been found to be in a Capital One fraud ring and have done this to several other people... so, at least I have some footing to stand on.

*sigh*

Still nothing on lending.

I did get some packing done last night, I've got a bit more to do tonight, then I think I'll call it quits for a while. I'm just getting overwhelmed with everything happening right now. Stress is gonna eat me alive.

Back to my Amish Friendship bread I have been trying to make for over 2 hours.... HA HA HA!

What a Yesterday... and today...

So, I did get my Turbo Jam workout in. That was good news. I did the whole workout too - *Hiiiii-Yah!* It was frustrating though, because Jason came home about halfway into my workout, and started to eat behind me. When I told him it was annoying, he got upset and said, you do annoying things too... do I tell you what you do? I just glared and kept lifting... *row, two, row, one... ahhh done* He said he wouldn't try the workout because he wouldn't want to make me feel bad and that 8 pound weights were too light for him. I'd like to see him to the lifting session with me and not sweat...

It's been a grueling process to get our funding underway. I guess now we're trying to go FHA loan... grumble, moan, and sigh. I was hoping that the VA would let us just go alreay, but whatever. I need to get into my house and if this is the only way right now, then that's that. I'm so stressed out, I am just not sure what I'm going to do with myself.

I also think birth control is making a monster out of me. I need to get in to see my doctor, but I really just don't care about being crabby anymore. I do however, care for the fact my face is looking like a 13 year old hitting puberty with all the breakouts I have been getting. My face hurts sometimes from the marks on my face. I started up my retin-A treatments last night with hopes it would resolve some of my face issues... we shall see.

Yesterday, we went to a park in Eagle or Meridian. Not quite sure of where boundaries are anymore. But this park was AWESOME. However, shortly after arrival, it started to pour buckets of rain on us... so - picnic and park were move to the Howe's house and we had fun there, as always. We're almost always laughing.

I wish I could understand my feelings better... or just know how to control them better. It's just the stress of it all weighing me down and I just want it to be over with. I want:
to be packed
Jason off of his stupid basketball game he has on his PS3
to see productive action at work with the packing
kids to stop hitting, screaming and biting eachother
my houses' lending to come through or something already.

I am guessing our mortgage, if we go the FHA route, will be about 1275 now - that's up about a hundred or so from the VA... but, whatever. We'll just have to be really good about paying all our bills on time, cutting extras and making sure we can make ends meet.

So, that's that, crappity crap!

Unstoppable

This picture made my gut hurt... I laughed so hard because it's so true! I am sitting in my room, typing away, realizing I am losing energy to get my work out done. I am feeling hopeless, yucky and fat today. Seems to be that I ate too much wheat based stuff this weekend and boy can I tell! I'm a sight for sore eyes today.

I went to church today, trying to look put together and failed pretty bad. I look like Britney Spears attending mass or something. I was a HOT MESS. I had on my hooker boots (lol leather knee-high boots), my ripped pantyhose, pencil denim skirt I wore last week, a grey shirt, and a short sleeved knit, but stylish jacket, black eyeliner, and red lipstick. It was just... bad. I took off the red lipstick, but I tell ya, I couldn't wait to get home and see which pair of yoga pants were screaming for me to wear them.

I spent a good few hours today in the garage, sorting through stuff, repacking things, pulling my hair out over all the "crap" boxes that just don't go anywhere yet, and listening to 80's power ballads. I have to say, I'm pretty pleased as I was able to find my summer clothes like capris and short sleeved shirts... Now, if I could just get like 20 pounds off, I'd be able to fit a bunch of the clothes I've got in storage. It's miserable not being able to fit all my cute clothes, but I'm a work in progress, so don't rush me too much.

I still have so much left to pack and so little time to do it. It's two weeks from tomorrow when we get our keys, so, um... It's high-tail it time. I don't know if I should just throw a bunch of crap away and buy new when I need it in my new home, because to move it and have it sit even longer doesn't make a lick of sense to me. I threw away cough drops that were expired by a month last night and that was awesome! I'm so stoked about that.... I don't know why. I just love throwing things away. If I could throw away all the half used bottles of lotion I have, I'd be even happier..... WAIT! I'll go do that in a bit... I bet I won't miss them one bit, and if I need more, I know where to go buy a container.

Tonight, I had my indulgence fulfilled on Animal Planet. I got to watch Meerkat Manor. A show I absolutely love. It's interesting to see animals and their instincts and what not play out. I admit, I was tearful a few times as some of the Meerkats died, but I was soon over it! **TEAM FLOWER!!**

I would like to take the opportunity to admit that I was productive this last weekend recovering my dining room chairs. They looked like they had been assaulted by spaghetti o's and cereal one too many times, and I love the new look. I think the red I selected is a bit more forgiving... Lets hope this go round lasts another 2 years or so. I will decline the opportunity to show the before picture as it's pretty sad and disgusting... but do you like the red?

Argh... I've got so much to do, and I don't wanna do it... back to the saying in the picture up top. I'd be unstoppable if I could just get started.

Update

So, errrrm. I went out to the new house twice today. Once with my family, and then, once again with my BFF Mandy. I'm still adjusting to the idea of being so far away, but I guess I'll live. I've got new pictures of what my kitchen looks like, nearly finished. It's pretty amazing. Yes, that is real tile for my backsplash. It's four inch square and it really sets off the whole look. I'll have a black stove and a black fridge in the spot that's empty for it. My floor is awesome too, but it's covered in mess and cardboard. I'll email you pictures on request if you want them.... ha!

It's all coming together pretty fast now. I think we're like 16 days away from being able to move in and 14 until completion. That's calander days! I don't know that I'm ready. I just think it's come up so fast, and I started packing like 30 days ago... maybe even more than that. I just HATE last minute garbage.

So with the impending move coming up. I cleaned out the linen closets really well today. I left only stuff that's going to have to go over unpacked in the back bathroom. It's all clean and ready, minus mopping the floor, so that's one thing off of my list. I need to keep packing the kids clothing up. I hope to do this the right way, so I'm not missing clothing in 6 months because I can't find the winter clothes.... *sigh*

There was some stuff wrong with the way our house was framed, so, we're getting shelving put in elsewhere where there was supposed to be plenty of shelving in our linen closet.... *Grumble* I really really wanted that place because of kids and all the linens they go through when they're small... but oh well.

I'm pretty much baked for the day. I just had a really long day, and was in a "mood" for most of it. I wonder if it's the hormones. I've been a nut job here lately. I'm mostly normal, but around Jason, I want to bite his head off sometimes. I guess this guess this goes along with the job description of Man Eater...

Tomorrow is church too.... one of my last weeks in the nursery as we're moving. So the countdown begins... Whew! I'll be glad to survive this calling. I suppose it's not that bad, but still... I'd rather not be the nursery coordinator again.

Okay, enough rambling. Love to you all.

Amy

TAG!

1. How long have you been together? this is vague - do you mean married? Just over 7 years.
2. How long did you date? 6.5 months
3. How old is he? 28
4. Who eats more? He does.
5. Who said "I love you" first? Probably me.
6. Who is taller? Jason, by nearly a foot.
7. Who is smarter? Me
8. Who does the laundry? Me, on occasion he'll fold some but the majority is me.
9. Who does the dishes? Me...
10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? We swap sides.
11. Who pays the bills? He earns the bucks, I make sure they're paid on time.
12. Who mows the lawn? Nobody yet, but when we get our new home, he will - I'm very allergic
13. Who cooks dinner? I do.
14. Who is more stubborn? Jason is more stubborn.
15. Who kissed who first? I kissed him first.
16. Who asked who out? There wasn't really an opportunity to ask out, I guess I asked him to walk me to my car?
17. Who proposed? I think I did... I asked him, so are we gonna get married, he said, 'sure, pick a date and I'll show up.' And that's about all he did.
18. Who is more sensitive? It depends on what we're referring to. Probably moreso me.
19. Who has more siblings? Me
20. Who wears the pants in the relationship? We try to talk things out, but I talk louder...

I TAG AMY!!

White Flag

I surrender... I give up... Come what may

Trying to win a fight, knowing I will lose the war

So, with the upcoming "move into a new home" pending in just a matter of WEEKS... I'm just getting more and more anxious about moving out of my ward. So much even, that the anxiety is just turning my stomach in knots. Shouldn't I be happy to get a home? I don't know what's the matter with me. I've been conspiring in my head what to do so I can stay. So far, this is what I have come up with:

1. I've planned out camping in the backyard of two friends houses, and trading days off with the other two friends, so I can still live in ward boundaries but get by.
2. Purchase a piece of the Bishops yard, put a Barbie house on it and say I own a home in ward boundaries... It's the truth, right?
3. Pray that plastic eating locust go and eat the house in Caldwell... Or LIGHTNING strikes it down!
   
   So I've thought of all the reasons TO move to Caldwell where we are building. Here is my list:
   
   /the end
   
   The reasons not to:
   1. I love my ward
   2. People in Idaho don't like driving more than a few miles and 7 miles is out of the question for regular visits.
   3. It's just farther from the hospital, and as we are now - I think we have 5 visits in the ER this year?
   4. Farther from Boise
   5. Farther from Target, Costco, Khols, etc. shopping center.
   6. I'm sad to just leave my comfort zone.
   
   So - as you can clearly see by the above illustration, I am not only outweighing the benefits of staying with those of going, but it's like an emotional tie here. I have people I attend church with that I feel connected to. I don't wanna go... really. Honestly, I saw the kitchen today and it's lovely... but, I just feel homesick there.
   
   I'm praying that God's gonna handover some wisdom in all this, because right now, I'm functioning on two shakes short of retarded.

Skipping...

So, I skipped a few things yesterday.

I skipped my workout. Cleaning and doing several loads of wash was work out enough for me. It's hard to deal with things when your kid pees all over your bed, pillows, two comforters, the mattress cover, the duvet... it was a mess. I'm still catching up because I've run out of laundry soap.

I skipped dinner. I ate a bite but not substantial food. I was just too stressed out by all that's going on to even care to eat.

I skipped blogging. My usual late night blogging was put to the side so I could talk on the phone. Meh, it's okay, not like I really had that much to say yesterday, or even much today. Errrm...

The kids are acting strange because the weather is so wierd. Wierd... wierd today, wierd

Why I hate soda

So, we were out today, hadn't had a bite to eat pretty much all day. I hate to go out hungry, no matter when it is, but today, I had my head in a whirlwind. This is why:

We had bundling insurance man out at our apartment this morning and we've signed up to bundle life, home, and auto insurance. What's funny about it? The whole thing is costing us what our car insurance alone cost us in California! That's what's funny and great at the same time.

Then, you take two screaming, insane, acrobatic toddlers to the store, and there you have it. Pure insanity. I lasted all of 20 minutes in Fred Meyer before calling it quits... I want to pull my hair out some days, but I don't think the mange look would go over so well for me.

Thank God I can laugh at myself.

So why I hate soda... Jason and I have been soda free for - err... nearly 6 months, and on occasion (RARE) have we been forced to drink a diet soda because no bottled water, and the tap water tasted like sewer. Today, was one of those days. McDonalds - shhhh Chalene Johnson doesn't need to know I went - didn't have bottled water in. I had to go diet. And man! Did my stomach sure tell me it hated me after. I felt like throwing up for about half an hour. I'm okay now for the most part, but the bun is making my guts turn now. Wheat intolerance is not fun at all. Why do these strange maladies happen so late in life... kind of like the wild allergies that hit us once we get to Idaho. I'm told, that this "spring" is nothing, wait til' ragweed season. Great. I should buy stock in Claritin while I can.

Tonight - we're going to take Mexican food over to a friends house and have family night. It was a going tradition for quite some time, then baby came along, we took a break... and my husband is having withdrawals. He and Jared - baby shower Jodie's husband - have made out like they've been BFF's their whole life. Finally, for Jason to have someone who may have not been so perfect in life prior to committed Mormonism, it's priceless. He feels good having friends like we do, and he wants to take care of his friends. Like buying 4.00 a container salsa for dinner tonight... but not just one, TWO! What does he plan to do? Eat it with a garden spade? I can only handle so much salsa... I tell ya.

I need to sit and write about my friends eventually. I've touched on them... but never really written much about them... and for the family who does not live in Idaho, AKA - ALL OF YOU - I think for you to see my friends through my eyes would be neat. I appreciate all of them so much, each with their own talent, their own ways... but I'd not trade them for the world. :) I think I need to plan a girls night out to the Boise Temple and go to lunch after! Whhoooo! That sounds good, I'm going to get to calling!

Be ready, this is a venting blog

So, today, well wait. Let me start with yesterday. Yesterday was ward karaoke night. Frightening, I know. What's worse? Me singing a solo, shaking like a flippin leaf... I was asked to sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" - and I was so nervous... crikey. After it was over, apparently, people thought I loved to sing - I don't - and would ask me to sing with them, which I gladly obliged. What am I gonna do, sing worse than I did? If nothing else, being moral support for some of the best people in the planet, was the least I could do. It wound up being a really great night, I had fun visiting with friends and just getting out of the house.

Okay, now, back to today. Being nursery coordinator on any given Sunday can be stressful. Even more so when you've got both of the nursery leaders from one class out sick, and one from each other nursery class. Talk about scramble... It was nuts. I felt so bad for my friend Amy, the "Red" nursery teacher today. She was having a hard time, which I totally understand with hubby out of town all the time and with the other teacher out, wow. She held it down pretty good. Blessings are headed her way.

Back to me, not like I like to talk about this, but one day, I will likely look back and laugh my butt off at how silly these things are. It was just a crazy, cry it up, snot faced day. My kids had just some weird funk going on because Jason wasn't at church with us, he was in on a derailment... and will likely be gone tomorrow too. THANK THE LORD ABOVE for my friend Mandy who's bailed me out so many times, her lap is a favorite of my two youngest, Aubrey and Faith. I don't know if I could have done church today without her. Mandy, if you ever read this, I owe you, I love you, you can never move too far away, okay?!

I took the kids to the pool. Initially I thought I looked alright in my new suit... but got to the pool... and not so much. A few more weeks of Turbo Jam and I should be alright. I'm pretty committed to this now, I'm sure to see this through. I measured today and I'm down 13" overall measurements, 4" alone in my waist. A WHOO HOO ME! Thanks Chalene... this stuff works!

Anything else? Oh yes, my friend Amy had a Tastefully Simple party yesterday. I enjoyed her company more than the food, most of it was wheat based which my intestines and stomach currently don't enjoy, but I'd take good company any ol' day. I bought some cake stuff... It's okay, I don't think I'd spend 8.99 on it again... but it was inspiring. We'll see what the future holds with the rest of my order.

So - if you got through this, yay!

Peace this week please, Lord. I'm being so good.

*sigh*

Fierce Face is Back!

This was my hair and makeup for Karaoke night - I had an 80's number - this was my best 80's face!

This was too funny

A friend sent me one of those things you answer the questions to, so just to keep things fresh, I was a little funny with my answers

What time is it? - Time for me to git'off'n here and get my *** moving to Turbo Jam.

What's your full name - Why? You gonna run my credit too? This house buying crap sucks... oh yeah, Amy Michele (ONE "L" Folks!) Prather

What are you most afraid of? The weird things I am afraid of: not having enough money, bad bad 80's hair, fake handbags.. The legitimate things: COCKROACHES, balloons popping out of no where, not getting my house, my kids dying before I do.

What is the most recent movie that you have seen - What are those? How about Blues Biggest Adventures on DVD? or umm... OH YES! SHOOTER! Mark Wahlberg. He's so hot. He's starting to take the place of Brad Pitt... for real... OMG

Place of birth- Like, ummm, so totally the Valley! Canoga Park, California

Favorite food - Whatever won't make me fat.

What's your natural hair color - I forgot. Robin, you used to tell me mousy brown... I guess I will stick with that... right now... it's a hot mess.

Ever been a Neat Freak - Only when my doctor diagnosed me as OCD... Then I thought I might have issues....

Ever been skinny dipping - No, nobody wants to see me chunky dunk.

Love someone so much it made you cry- Yes

Been in a car accident - Yes
Croutons or bacon bits - CROUTONS

Favorite Day of the Week -Sleep in day?

Favorite restaurant - Mimi's Café - and they don't have one here... so other than that... Red Robin or Chilis...

Favorite Flower- Calla Lillies

Favorite sport to watch - I don't know about this one... I do hear bedroom Olympics upstairs with the neighbor whore though... but that's not a favorite thing to watch. Why do the humping people follow me everywhere?

Favorite drink - errr... umm... gosh... Mango Mantra Smoothie from Jamba Juice

Favorite ice cream - I don't get to eat it much anymore - it gives me the trots, but if I had to suffer the trots for something, it's probably... ummm... well hell, strawberry Breyers

Warner Brothers or Disney - Disney - DUH - they're the only fake people who REALLY live happily ever after... gosh.

Ever been on a ship - Yes, hello, Navy girl here.

What color is your bedroom carpet - In my new home or here? Here is that fugly berber carpet, in my new home some awesome shag stuff.

How many times did you fail your driver's test - NEVER

Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail - Oh, Dani.

What do you do when you are bored ? - Surf the internet, read celebrity gossip, think about getting skinny, think some more about getting skinny.... watch QVC sometimes....

Bedtime - Whenever I can go to bed...

Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest - Probably nobody - I don't really expect to get it back, again.

Who will least likely respond - My Cat Cleo who's been dead for 10 years. I think her lack of thumbs would make it impossible to type.

Who is the person that you are most curious to see their answers - The Good Lord

Favorite Television Shows - Oh... The First 48, CSI: Miami, LOST

Last person you went to dinner with - dinner... been a while since dinner. Jason works swing shift... I eat dinner at home.

Park or Zoo - Boise Zoo to see the "bubba's" as Aubrey calls them. Really, it's the monkeys.

What are your favorite colors? Oh dear. Black?

How many tattoos do you have - Zero Still...

How many pets do you have - Jason count?

What do you want to do before you die? - watch my children go to college

Have you ever been to Hawaii - NO

Have you been to countries outside the U.S. - Claro Que Si! Dos Coca-Colas Por Favor - and some Canadian stuff...

How many people are you sending this e-mail - Oh, I love spamming folks, the whole damn world's gonna see this one!

Who fills your heart with joy when you hear their voice - Honestly? Brad Pitt and Mark Wahlberg... Should: my kids

What takes your breath away? Really bad hairdo's on women carrying designer purses.... and fat chicks stuffing themselves into clothes you know they're buying from the freaking teenybopper stores and look like a wreck in. You can be a big girl tastefully, I promise. I am just speechless when I see such things... then I wet my pants laughing...

Last Nights Work Out

Oh man, so it's like 9 at night and the kids are still running around like madmen. It's just literally insane. I really wanna get my workout in, I feel better when I do, so I get the baby gate and stick it in the hallway so they can't get into the living room where I'm Jammin'. Just after the warm up, "mommy, more bottle please..." Faith is pitifully standing at the gate with the bottle dangling over... so I pause the workout, get her a bottle of water, and resume workout. Two minutes later, Aubrey is trying to escape the gate like a POW... PAUSE... AGAIN! so... I get her a cuppy and she's going back in the bedroom to watch her movie. The movie is going on "punch hi - low - hi - low..." and then I hear it again.... "Mommy...." ARRRRRGH! Can't I work out?! I get trough the workout, barely by 10 pm, and it's a 50 minute work out! I had to stop that much for the kids... At least my arms are a bit sore. Hopefully the weight starts coming off too... I measure again on Sunday... hopefully more progress is in the works for me.

Tonight I have a Ward Karaoke party to attend. I was asked to sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!" Apparently, somebody at church got the word around I was fun and outgoing... and I'm on the list of folks singing tonight. Mind you the only tune I carry is in an iPod, so this should be interesting. I will let you know how it all goes down. Probably quite sad but that's okay.

We should be headed out to the house soon to see if the cabinets are put in... ohhh it's exciting now! Now if lending would fall into place, we'd be set! Prayers are appreciated.

Fun reading here... http://snowwhite760.blogspot.com/2008/03/twenty-questions-answered-honestly.html

The joys of Turbo Jam

This is 9 days into Turbo Jam.... not too bad... like 50 more pounds to go... Progress is like men's brains... slow and stupid, but eventually you get it. In all honesty, 9" lost overall in my measurements is fabulous and that alone is enough to keep me working out as much as I am... hopefully the payout is just as fabulous as I wish to be!

These are Faith's arms from the ER visit. I have some of her hands where they stuck her too. She said, "look mom, these are from my pinches!" What a sport!

Pictures! I forgot!

This is the outside of my house.... we opted to flip the plans so it wouldn't be like walking into every other floorplan being built like ours... :)

I need to get updated weight loss pictures up... It's pretty astonishing how much I've changed. I'm down almost 9" overall now... whoo hooo!

'S'been a while, huh?

I've had an interesting roller coaster last week or so. We've gone from being approved for lending through the VA to not, Faith back in the ER with intestinal problems, a baby shower for my dear friend Jodie, and failing miserably at being a good friend and listening ear to friends who I know I need to call... *sigh*

Anyway - on my soapbox, here we go again. So, I'm on my mission to lose 10% of my body weight... it's coming off... slowly, and that's okay. I've been working out to Turbo Jam and I am actually getting results. I suppose it's in part because I've got weights on with the workout and I'm going at it twice a day if I can... I'm really happy with myself about that.

I've got friends who I love incredibly here in Idaho, mostly from church... well okay, you caught me, all of them are from church. But I tell ya what, I'd not trade a single one of them for nothing. They're just fabulous. We all are "human" together, and I don't feel like I have to play "keeping up with the Jones'" with them. I've got friends from all walks of life. Thank goodness. I think having a balance of friends keeps me balanced.

So, we've got like 32 days left before we can move in, when we get our loan approval. Our house is coming along so nicely. It's going to be awesome to be a home-owner with a mortgage just 84.00 more than what our rent was in California on our 3 bed, 2 bath dump. Seriously... this is such a good life here. My gratitude knows no boundaries.

I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm alive. I'm me. There's no gloom, depression, sadness. It's like it all got washed away. I'm so happy to serve, I'm happy to ease burdens, I just can't say how much I love this place.

Last month, my bishop from my youth died in a horrible car accident. His daughters were friends with my sister and I. It was a sad blow, he was the second death in a month for me, the 5th in the year... It was a testament to me though, that his family was alright with his passing and was more concerned about the 17 year old boy that hit him as he has to live with the knowledge he killed someone for the rest of his life. The gospel is sure a powerhouse for people. Knowing what's gonna happen when we die, makes this thing called suffering much less sufferable...

The kids are winding down for bed, it's time for reading and prayers, then my workout, laundry, and then a shower and bed.

I'm grateful for the ability to share my life. I'm grateful I can walk. I'm grateful for my friends who are like family to me. I'm grateful to feel joy and happiness like I have never known. Gratitude... It can go a long way.

Thanks God, for all my blessings...