Gone...

I was gone for a long time, and I apologize. It feels so silly to be unable to get on and write a bit, but I'm in a funk. My head hurts on and off a lot... and I've been nauseous. I hope this stops sooN!

Long time, no type

I've been away for 5 days, and life is ever interesting. My new bed arrived Thursday and with Judy's help, we got it set up and working. I can't believe how comfortable beds are. I got used to sleeping on the floor like an animal, which sometimes has it's benefits, but a bed, is definately something I think I took for granted.

Oh, and I'm in a 9/10 now, EASY and I'm happy as ever about that. I think we've sorted out the nonsense that kept me so darn miserable for so long. It's a relief now, to be able to eat normal food, in smaller portions and be okay with that.

The weather is - again - rather odd. I hope that it's not nasty when I hope to leave this weekend. I'm going to the wedding of a former missionary of mine... Zach Bloom, who is like a little brother to me. I was honored to get the invite to the sealing, it will be only the third I've ever attended. I look forward to seeing family and friends on this trip too. It should be a worthwhile trip. I think I am going to invest in a portable DVD system for the car to keep the kids sane. That trip is so hard for them, so hopefully some movies will make the trip a bit easier.

I just cleaned out the inside of my car and fully expected to find a greenhouse or a mouse living in there. With the crumbs my kids drop in the car, it's no wonder I'm not growing plants and hosting critter parties. I don't want a fine from the HOA about having critters that aren't legal and what not.

I had been hoping to make a mecca out to Las Vegas this weekend while my kids stayed with family there, but just didn't get the right feeling to go. I think I need a shoulder to cry on to and from the destination. It will likely be the most worthwhile thing I can do for my greiving process, but I'm not ready, just yet, to go face that.

Church yesterday was interesting, to say the least. A sweet, sweet friend, borrowed Aubrey during sacrament meeting, while I tried to wrangle Faith. I handed out Clorox wipes to the little ones and had them wiping down pews to keep them busy. Watching people watch my kids clean was pretty hysterical. They thought I was doing it to be awesome, but really, I just wanted my kids to hush up.

OH! I FORGOT! I attempted to go out and get some errands done Saturday at the Mall. My kids - wait - the babies were just about as twister-sisterly as they get. Aubrey, made the Oscar list for her delivery of "I'm an abused and tired two year old" which attracted quite a crowd, though no one paid me any money - or compliments at that matter - just lots of glares, stares, double takes, and ONE thumbs up! I let her pitch her fit in JC Penney's Mens Department, near the golfing polos. I figured nobody really shops there, and I'd be out of the way... boy... was I wrong. The crowds must have been twittering eachother to stop by and see the wild child being carried around by the harness on the back of her overalls... yes, I carried her like a purse, but I HAD TO... and no, it didn't hurt her. That's what I got the thumbs up to...

Here's the illustration though I didn't look that calm or fabulous...

I've got so much going on the next few weeks, so posting might be sparse, but I'm hopeful to get in and at least get a hello, I'm alive in once in a while.

From the mouth of Faith

I asked Faith the following questions and these are her answers in her own words:

1. What is something mom always says to you?
she talks like an "old mom"

2. What makes mom happy?
umm, maybe laughing

3. What makes mom sad?
*uhhhuhnuh* (I don't know)

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
make mad

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Idunno

6. How old is your mom?
three - I then asked her how old she was - she said FOUR!

7. How tall is your mom?
much bigger than the TV

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Paint (what a good girl)

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
go shopping

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
I dunno - I dunno!

11. What is your mom really good at?
I can't tell... painting

12. What is your mom not very good at?
mmm. mmm. I can't tell mom

13. What does your mom do for a job?
ummm...

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
Macanroni and cheese (not so much)

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Hugs

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
umm... I dunno Mom... I can't tell... umm... The princess in the pretty girl dress.

17. What do you and your mom do together?
read a story

18. How are you and your mom the same?
gerrls mom, we're gerrls

19. How are you and your mom different?
yours are painted, mine are not (toenails)

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
gives kisses

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
I dunno....

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Mc Donalds - Costco


Tag, you're it. This is fun so I hope you have time to do it. Don't forget to tag me back so I can read your kids' answers.

Lunch.... ahhhh....

Two boiled eggs, a teaspoon of olive oil mayo, and some seasoned salt... paired with some delicious strawberries... And I'm full! WHOO! This is starting to sound good. OH YEAH! I forgot! I lost 3.5 pounds last week! Which is AWESOME! YAHOO!

It's snowing outside... I'm not all that excited about it because it's not fun to drive in, however, I'm hopeful that it lets us have a snow day... though doubtful.


Stop on by my facebook page for a peek at pictures! Here's a sneak preview! The people at Portrait Innovations are awesome! If you live near one, I suggest you stop by! They do WONDERFUL work!

Coming Clean

Last night, I got the urge to draw. Strange it hit me at nearly midnight, but I was happy to get pencil to paper. I slid out my sketch book, grabbed my "circle maker" and started to draw. What ended up on the paper were a series of bubbles. Ironic that Soap Box Amy would be coming clean, with the power of bubbles, eh?

There are things in my life, I certainly would do different. I could get the same outcome, with less heartbreak and drama. However, there are things that I would never change. I think going through so much of the garbage we go through, gives us the opportunity to see how low we can go, how far removed from who we need to be, and give us the opportunity to come clean. I'm ready to let go. To dissolve all the dirt that haunts me, and really move forward.

For the first time in a long long time, I feel at a place I can take my power back, I can stand on my Soap Box and proclaim, I may not love who I am at the moment, but I am willing to fight for what I want as my outcome.

Twister Sisters Strike Again

Reflective

Too much energy. How do they do it?

I'm inspired, but cannot gather my thoughts to draw.
The thumping of little feet downstairs could mean disaster.
But I am tired, and this is good.

Ativan is a friend of mine...
A friend I have long since missed.
Ativan is a warrior of stress and insomnia.
Thank you God, for modern medicine.

A visit from my dear friend today, was relief to my soul.
Company, contact, friendship brighten my day.
Chocolate & strawberries, and nobody knew!
It was our secret, but I share it with those who will grin with us also.

I'm missing other friends, miles away.
I carry them in my heart, always.
Bonded together through trial and despair, thinking of happier times...
I remember, and I smile...

and I love it.

FUNNEL CAKE - YUM!!!

Funnel cakes always bring back memories of going to the local fair or summer carnivals. It is simple to recreate this sweet treat at home!

2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups milk
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
oil for deep-frying
confectioner’s sugar - for dusting

1. In a bowl, combine the eggs, milk, and brown sugar. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt; beat into egg mixture until
smooth.
2. In an electric skillet or deep-fat fryer, heat oil to 375 degrees F.
3. Cover the bottom of a funnel spout with your finger; ladle 1/2 cup batter into funnel. Holding the funnel several inches above
the skillet, release finger and move the funnel in a spiral motion until all of the batter is released.
4. Fry for 2 minutes on each side or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels. Repeat with remaining batter.
5. Dust with confectioners’ sugar; serve warm.

I feel smokin....

I went and had the works done to my hair today. I feel super sassy. Sorry for the poor lighting... but my hair is soooo cute! I loves it!

What a day!

So, it rained, there was sunshine, it rained some more and then it's quiet... pin drop quiet! Needless to say, the weather needed my Prozac more than I did! It's hard to plan your outings with the temperamental weather, but I ventured out anyway.

On a trip to Boise today, we stopped in at Zoo Boise, boy that sounds redundant, and let the girls run around. Since we are not lucky enough to have Disneyland - YES YOU CALIFORNIANS! - we frequent the Zoo. It's been the best "season pass" purchase since our Disneyland set. *le sigh* Disneyland... *smacks self* Okay! Back on topic... So, the zoo finally got their prairie dog exhibit up and loaded with CUTE critters. Oh my heck! They made the cutest squealy-barky sound ever, and when I imitated it back to them, I had them staring at me... it was too cute!

Then, wasting time at Best Buy - for absolutely no reason - sounded like the PERFECT idea. I believe in staring at over-priced washers and dryers to remind myself, that at one point, they too, will be under 600. It's all about waiting for the fad to die out. In the meantime, I can drool over the Electrolux washer that can wash 25 PAIRS OF JEANS! YES! I am so not kidding! Do you know how fast I could get through my washing?! If there were a line for hand-me-outs, and there was a line for one of those... HELLO! I'd SO be there.

I came home and ran back out to go shopping, kid free. WHAT A JOY that was! Whoo! Old Navy was having some good sales on jeans, and since I'm losing weight and in between the sizes in my closet, I broke down and bought a new pair. Okay, wait. Three pairs, but when I got home, I realized I only liked one pair. The others go back... and get swapped for the cut I like. And, oh yes, the pants are the lowest double digit you can buy. For you out there who don't want to think on that long... a 10! I bet if they had a 9, I'd fit that better, but they run in even numbers... (evens fit curvier girls - odds fit boy shaped bodies)

What else...? Oh, I couldn't sleep, so at half past midnight, I ventured out to Wal-Mart to stock up on things I couldn't remember to buy for the last - ohhhhh few years. Like storage containers for flour and sugar, a canning funnel, TONGS, slicing mats, a candy thermometer, jelly beans (to bribe Aubrey to potty train), oh the list goes on... but I felt like FINALLY! My brain has enough time to think and process prices, and really get what I need! GAH! That was awesome!

So, coming home, it decides to rain... yeah, again. And when I pull into the garage, I'm met with the anguish of putting this stuff I bought away. Because one thing leads to another with me. Point in case, right now. I intended to only put the flour and sugar in their bins and call it a night, but when you spill a bit on the counter, you have to wipe it up, but to wipe it up well, you have to move everything, which means, you have to do a load of dishes to empty the sink, to re-fill it with the stuff on the counter.

Then, you decide you have had simply enough of the jam spill on the floor in front of the oven from the twisters, so while you're scrubbing, might as well bend over and get the floor... yes, by hand. *side note* The twister sisters broke my mop, and while I'm able-bodied and needing to trim my waist, I'll scrub by hand now.

And just when you think you're done, you decide that too many crumbs hit the floor while scrubbing, or they just jumped out of the scrubbie and to temporary freedom, you grab the push broom to sweep the insanely huge kitchen floor. And no, I'm not kidding here either. I begin to push broom the floor and make decide that I must sleep easy knowing the scary part under the stove is clean, and the fridge too. So, I shove my hand under and gather the crusty samurai ramen noodles and the rogue Cheerios, and sweep them with my hand up and into the trash. I shamefully toss away the survivors of days gone by and then giggle with glee that I actually gave them silly names.

If that were enough, it be enough. But it wasn't. So, I started to fold the laundry the girls have dumped out of my laundry baskets (aka their personal step stools) and get it off the floor. Finally, I have said enough... I am staring at the piles, knowing all to well they won't stay folded or clean for too long, and I get to do this all over again before the week is over.

I'm writing a new book. "If You Give This Mom A Mess" - fashioned after the "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" series. I think I'm onto something... You can book me - and my alter ego - for events, speaking engagements, or for comedic relief. I'll do it for the cost of my baby sitter and fuel... COOL?! Cool... *rolls eyes* Just tell me to shut-up and "whatever"...

And that, my friends, is a wrap!

Until the dishwasher gave the the signal it's done... Must... Start.... New.... Load....

What the Psychiatrist had to say...

Dear Amy,

Have some more Prozac and Phentermine.... this will help shut up Ana. See me in a month.

Doc

- No, it wasn't that short, or blunt, but to sum it up... that's about what it was. So, we shall see if 80mg of Prozac does a body good or not.

I've gotta take Grace to gymnastics tonight and then clean house a little. Pick up here and there. I'll be out of chit chatting for a few days while Jason is home visiting the girls. I'm always sure to have something fun to write about once he leaves and the kids just go nuts...

Certain...

Getting Giddy

So, I guess you could say with no man around for the LONGEST time... A girl can get all giddy for random reasons. However, this morning wasn't all that random... I went looking for pictures of my fighter I adore and have met quite a few times.

Roger - "El Matador" - Huerta


Yes, ladies. You're welcome. But he's coming camping with ME! Okay, wait - that's not totally true... he is, but in a dream... *le sigh*

He's done so much outside the UFC that goes unnoticed so I thought I'd bring it to light. His heart is huge and Roger does so much to give back. He's apart of an organization called www.myfightforkids.com He is outstanding. You ladies keep your Brad Pitt... I'm staking claim in Huerta! *KINGS X*

On a side note... I've been photo'd with him a few times, but was a thicker girl then... I wish I could replace those old pictures with some new ones, because *le sigh* he's just beautiful, inside and out!

Random Tidbits About Me:

If I could vacation anywhere in the world, it would be: Disney World.

In my previous life, I was definitely: loaded with a sense of humor.

If my significant other were to die tomorrow, I'd post pictures of (celebrity) on my wall: Roger Huerta (UFC Middleweight Fighter) or Mark Wahlberg...

My dream car is: My 2009 Silver VW Jetta... (it's just not all that practical)

If I could give myself advice from now - to myself 10 years ago, it would be: Avoid bars and military men at all costs! Too much trouble!

Lottery winnings would be spent on: A huge party with all of my friends and family from everywhere - hosted by Derrick Barry (Britney Spears impersonator) and Aubrey O'Day. Lots of music, dancing, and a comedic act of some sort - Brian Regan perhaps? Pay off some debt of my friends and family... Then some fix-er-upper stuff for me...

I regret: Too many things to list - however, I think I learned a lot from making mistakes

My friends are: The most awesome group of people ever... they're eclectic, irreplaceable, and priceless "family" to me

Excercise is: A chore sometimes, a workout others. However it can be great when meditation and relaxation are the focus - only when it's Yoga.

If I could change one thing about myself it would be: Erm, my body? Lift, tuck, shove, smoosh, etc. back to a baywatch body... okay well, not THAT over done, but ya know, normal looking....?

My view on politics is: I hate them. Mr. President should have handed us all a million bucks, or paid off all our debts instead of send money to these crappy institutions that aren't doing anything for the American consumer!

One of my favorite things: is to be held while I drift off to sleep. It's a security thing, and it doesn't happen anymore... *sigh*

I wish: I could get my grandma's anniversary ring design tattooed on my body... I'm scared to lose it or forget what it means. I know - I know - lecture me later, okay?

My MP3 player is loaded with: Everything! Cranberries, Metallica, Alanis, Snow Patrol, Daughtry, David Cook, Danity Kane, Lady Gaga, BRITNEY SPEARS!!

One random fact you might not know about me: I'm not even 5' tall and get mistaken for a minor more often than an adult.