Hard to believe that I have had four hundred AAAAAAAAAND one posts since starting my blog more than four years ago. Wow. How much my life has changed! I can't look back on it and say that it's been easy, by any stretch of the imagination. But, what it has created is a tougher, stronger, solid, capable, fearless, driven individual who is set out to do great things.
The last month or so I have sat and reflected much on my life. Really looking at the details of what's been going on and what direction I want to be going.
I am happy to say, I am animal free - food wise - and have not purchased any products that support animal cruelty since September 9, 2011. I can tell you that the first day of no animal products wasn't so bad, day two was a bit of a headache. Okay, okay... a lot of a headache - a smidge of a migraine... and days three, four, and five were pretty horrific as I suspect it was my liver and kidneys purging about a decade worth of medications and unhealthy stuff in them. The funny thing is, if I try to eat a small bit of dairy... say, a small bit of butter on a piece of toast, or a teaspoon of organic ranch, or something has dairy in it I am not aware of... I can feel it almost right away! And shopping in a grocery store is a "gross-ery" situation. I promise you, I can smell animal products like never before. Meats especially, and they have the ability to turn my stomach in a moment.
Eating out proves to be a challenge. There are very few vegan friendly products. Vegan meaning NO animal products used in the prep of the meal. NO broths, lard, egg, dairy, etc. It usually is plain pasta, plain veggies, etc. It's tough. Then eating out with people who are eating meat and trying not to dry heave... yeah, that's tough too. But, I keep telling myself it will get easier, and I am sure it will.
I have been in the process of moving now for about a month now and I am in the tail end of it. I have packed most of the house myself with the help of two friends thus far. For that I am so, SO grateful that they are able to find the time. I know a lot of my friends have busy lives or have little ones that make it hard to come over and help. The UHaul will be here Thursday to get loaded up and take us to our new place in Nampa. I'm hopeful that this move will bring me peace and a fresh start.
The new place we will be moving into will be finished this week, and we will be able to start moving our stuff over the next day! I am so excited! The light at the end of the tunnel is finally in sight. While I am sad to be moving from the closeness of friends I have made in Caldwell, I will be moving closer to work, back near friends from where I started out at, and getting a clean slate.
In the meantime, I am waiting for the direction of where to go for schooling, and hopefully will get certification to be a fitness instructor... yeah. I know. Sounds funny... but I think it's something I could do. With the speech problem I have I can't talk in sentences but I can count and say a few words without messing that up too bad... I think? Worst case scenario, it's a training I could fall back on.
It's one day at a time... a foot in front of the other... sometimes one breath in, one breath out. But it all verifies that I am still alive. I am still fighting back. I am still moving forward.
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