Searching

I guess that there are many times in our lives when we are searching for different things that we might need. Searching for the keys to the car because we can't remember where we left them? We're searching for our bank card because the impatient person in line can't understand what's taking so long when you only have three tornado-type children in tow and can't balance it all. And then there's times where you're searching and you're never certain to find the answers to the future. That's when you wish all the searching in the world would end up with a crystal ball in your hands. I do not know what my future holds, and that of my family. This economy, really, is in the crapper... and someone forgot to flush. Just really let this go already, and give us a chance to start fresh? Oh, wait, we got the start fresh last January when we moved here.

I have searched for a place to really feel like I belong, like it's home. And I have it now, and I'm certain of that more than anything. This place, these people, this tilled earth full of sugar beets... this is my home.

It breaks my heart as a mother to hear your children praying about the very things we as parents stress about. If it was only easy enough for them to pray it and have it happen, it's that part that's heartbreaking. To know that sometimes our prayers do get unanswered or postponed for ages.

This is a crossroad in my life. I have always taken the road less traveled by, and yes, it has made all the difference... but I was certain that the last time we uprooted would be the last. I pray, and beg, that we can stay here. Where life is good, friends are warm and plenty, and the church is bountiful. Where we are family among our friends, and their laughter and compassion fills our homes with warmth and love.

It is here, where I make my final stand, to stay in Idaho. With all that looms ahead in the fog of the uncertain, I do know, that for me, "this is the place..." and here will always be home.