Hey You!

Yes, you! I'm sorry for being a lazy blogging woman this week and must apologize for the lack of laughter in my blogs. I must admit, the most fun or laugh out loud worthy thing I did was deliver party invitations with Gretchen with a pirate hat on.... ARRRRR!

Yes, not too terrbily exciting.

We've been working at getting this party going and we've been so excited to see how this will all turn out. Almost a week away and the game is on! WHOO!

I'm incredibly tired as I cleaned out the entire garage last night and pitched an entire trash can full of stuff I deemed unnecessary to hold onto anymore. Like pictures from concerts that you can't see crap in, pictures of who knows, pictures of blurry people, random people, etc. Yeah, lots of that got tossed. Ratty old clothes that I didn't want to hang onto... just stuff.

I think in it all, it was really me sorting out my thoughts. Wearing the ballcap Jason and I gave my grandmother a few years back, I would come across cards from her. She never missed an occasion. I sorted my thoughts about her. I relive the sentiment attached to that card each time I open it up. Like, she's still here and her love is wrapped up in that card.

I contemplated some really retarted tattoos today. I did temporary on my arms with some funny dye that I bought at least 10 years ago, however, nearly considered tattooing my grandmothers signature on my back or something, with the ring emblem below it. I have her signature about geesh, at least 54 times that I can think of off the top of my head. Each Christmas and Birthday... soooo... Just find the best one. However, that would do me no justice as I am sure that wouldn't be something she would like.

I've seriously contemplated dying my hair black again though. Even though it's been growing out for erm... March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October.... 8 months now, I am about ready to put it back to black.

Pffffft.

I won't lie. I miss my grandma and things are worse now having to readjust to my medication I was put on by my lovely - and I mean that with the most sentiment I can - psychiatrist and hopefully before too long I'll quit crying over my grandma so often. Just one of those things I am not sure I will ever get used to.

Hey Wendy, if you read this still, I miss you tons. I have family praying for a miracle that I get to see you again as you're probably the only person on the whole planet that gets what I'm talking about completely and compassionately. (Not to say that my friends don't get it... but she gets it on a whole different level. I don't know how to explain it)

I think I'm all cried out and I've been long winded today, so I apologize. I'm trying to catch up and keep a good journal at the same time.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my grandma. Not one. Probably my most difficult loss to date, however, I'm confident I'll learn to live with the grief less vocally.

Hey mom! I still need a copy of the picture at the top of this blog for my posterity. Love you tons... hurry up and come visit!