We know the gender and...

Boy oh boy!

My OB ordered the Harmony test to see about genetic/chromosomal defects in the baby, and they're also able to tell gender by presence or lack of the Y chromosome. I had the test done at 11 weeks and we got results back about two weeks ago.  My sister was with me when I got the call, and needless to say, I was shocked!  We will be expecting a little dude (my guess is mid to late September) due October 8th.

It's been fun shopping online for him.  It's such a different experience for me.  Little girls had bows, socks, shoes, shirts, dresses, skirts that all coordinated.  Boys, it's like pants and cute shirts.  Done. LOL

My Hyperemesis Gravidarum has progressed to the point where I'm on IV hydration therapy including Zofran in my IV every four hours, as well as vitamins and minerals.  It's been a bit of a heartbreak as the IV's I get don't seem to last very long and it is hard having so many pokes.  I keep telling myself it's for the good of the baby, and myself.

Today has been a tough day for me. I'm used to the headaches that come with my anti-nausea meds, I can usually sleep those off... but the one I have had since last night won't go away. I've tried sleep, stretching, oils, tylenol... now a diet dr pepper with cherry to see if I can get it to break. This feels more like a migraine, especially with the bouts of throwing up last night and this morning.


Just taking it one day at a time and trying to make it another day.

Oyster crackers and sips of odd water...

I'm laying in bed feeling defeated. Slowly munching on oyster crackers because that's about all I can eat at the moment and sipping on a 40 ounce flask of 4 ounces of apple juice, a teaspoon of lemon juice and a chunk of ginger. Kinda gross - but it's what I needed.

I've been retching since ohhhhh... 11pm and it's not my favorite thing. I actually weep about it pretty often. The exhaustion that comes from HG is real. I'm tired and ready for this to be over. There's  about four hours until peak nausea goes away.  Then I can sleep. Oh and I did take my meds. They don't seem to work anymore.

It's hard when depression isn't treatable while pregnant. The meds I would like to take are not safe. I'm currently on Zoloft - but it's not doing much.  The HG makes the depression compound and feel so much heavier that I often don't feel like doing anything. So I try to envision my little baby, laying on my chest in a diaper and rubbing my fingers down their back as they sleep. Trying to remember what that fresh new baby smells like, to give me a reminder that it's worth it. Because ultimately - all of this will be worth the loss of sleep for the next three years - plus.

Through it all, I am humbled though....

I have friends fighting cancer, grieving death, single parenting it, losing jobs... and I remember to be grateful that things aren't worse for me. This is pretty awful but it could be worse.

I prayed for friends and family tonight, by name, because I believe prayers are heard. I prayed for hearts to be lifted, for angels to minister, for comfort to come, for strength in times of trial... and I prayed for patience that I might endure this, with grace.

Until next time.