The beauty in my friends... their priceless humor, tears of sadness and joy, the belly laughs that make me ache for that hurt-so-good some more. They love me the way I am and yet, I don't feel worthy of such friends. I truly feel like I've been given the best people on the planet to be my friends. Through my human nature, my frustrations, my guilt... they stand by me... I hope -- because they know I'd do the same for them, in a heartbeat.
I can see the happiness my children have just being in my lap reading a book or learning something new. I can share my time with them because the price is not an issue, and time is all I can invest. But time may make all the difference.
I can feel the joy that service brings. But it doesn't stay long. Before too long, I feel myself slipping again.
I hear the joy in the voice of my family when my kids call to thank them for their gifts. I see their joy when they can talk to my children over the internet on a web cam call.
But why can't I find it yet in myself?
I must dig deeper... down to my core. Find the best in me... and make it shine. Hopefully the rest will follow.
Deep breaths... I was feeling pretty much the same way, for several days, earlier this week. I was talking to my mom and she just kept telling me to count my blessings. But when I'm in a mood like that, it's the last thing I want to hear.
ReplyDeleteLet's go to lunch on Saturday...I could use the boost. I should be good around one, I think.